If at any point it doesn’t feel right, take some time out.
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we’ve been inseparable ever since.” But what if the sex feels awkward, like you’re kissing your brother or sister? “Go with the flow and what your desires are, rather than forcing it,” says the sex therapist Miranda Christophers. “The sex was totally mental and as soon as that happened we were both like: ‘Well, if we’re best mates and the sex is mental. For 31-year-old copywriter Tom, who has been in a relationship with his best friend for two years, it came easily. “The connection was very strong and very real.”īe mindful of how you transition from a physical relationship to a sexual one. If there’s a platonic version of a soul mate …” He tails off. I didn’t believe in love at first sight or soulmates until I met him. He used to say I was like his soulmate, or brother – like a soul brother. “I believe he knows and, in my heart of hearts, I believe he did love me back in some way. “There was nothing to be gained from telling him, because I knew he didn’t like me in that way.”Įventually, Alex had to take a step back from the friendship because it became too painful. “I connected with him in a way that I have connected with few human beings on this Earth.” But Alex has never said anything. They bonded over everything – their childhoods, values and favourite photographers. When they met in 2015, “it was love at first sight”. “It is probably the absolute worst thing I’ve ever done to a friend.”Īlex, 27, who works in the fashion industry, fell in love with his best friend. “I’d think: ‘Do I actually fancy him? He’s a great guy, but I couldn’t imagine us having sex.’” So she did something she profoundly regrets: she ghosted him. But as it neared, Keira started having doubts. I’d been thinking it for ages and blurted it out before I’d processed it.” He responded positively and they made plans to go on a date. “It wasn’t just like: ‘I’m high and I’m just saying this because I’m high,’” the editor, from London, clarifies. So have the confidence to share your feelings when you’re sober.” Keira, 28, learned this the hard way after confessing her feelings for her best friend after taking MDMA on a night out. “Things can get out of hand quite quickly. “You can behave in a more emotionally catastrophic way,” Bose warns. What you shouldn’t do is tell your friend you love them when you are drunk or high. Happily, she softened over time six years later, they are getting married.
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“After the movie, I said: ‘Look, we should make this an official thing and date properly.’” Rae was so shocked she laughed in his face. When 28-year-old publicist Asher Alexander, from Barnet, asked his best friend, Rae, to the cinema, he thought it was clear he was asking her on a date. “Flirt! Try and get a gauge on whether they’re reacting in a positive way, or if they look really uncomfortable.” Be warned: the flirting may go over their head. If you are unsure whether your best friend may have feelings for you, Bose has a simple solution. Miles Heffernan and Janette Miller at their wedding in 1972. Luckily for me, Noel had said the same thing to Miles – and Miles then started to court me.” I said that he would be perfect, but he never saw me that way. One day, our mutual friend Noel told me I ought to marry Miles. But, to him, I was just a pair of skates on legs. Miles became my friend and dance partner for eight years. “Miles was 34 and I was 21 we met when we were learning to ice skate. That’s how Janette Miller, 76, describes the man who helped her towards a very happy 30-year marriage. “I love her to bits,” he explains, “but I daren’t bring that up because it could unhinge what we currently have.” He does his best to be philosophical: “Hey ho – we don’t always get what we want.” Keith, who is 61 and from Bristol, has loved a close friend for more than a decade, during which time he has even put her in his will – but has decided against telling her. “He hadn’t given me any indication that he was interested in me romantically at all, and friends had tried to say that to me very gently, but I wasn’t hearing it.” “Is it an intense friendship? Does it sometimes feel like boundaries are crossed?” Clues might be if you keep touching each other, or avoid talking about sexual partners around them. “If you are going to take that step, ask yourself: are you serious about this?” Look for signals that they might be romantically interested in you. Sit with your feelings for a while, advises Simone Bose, a relationship therapist at Relate. Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer as Rachel and Ross in Friends.